shalimarfox: (Upset [on ground])
[personal profile] shalimarfox
I've handed out my fair share of second chances, and most times it ended up hurting me more than the first time around. I should learn my lesson by now I guess, but each time it comes up, there seems to be an entirely new set of circumstances that go along with it. Who am I to say who deserves it and who doesn't? I end up following through and seeing what comes of it in the end. There's no way that I'm going to say no right off the bat, because the one thing I've actually learned, is that help can come from the oddest places.

I gave my dad a second chance. It's a sore subject for me, because when you wake up and realize that you're not like the other girls, and your parents decide to lock you up for your own safety, there aren't many things they can do to deserve that do-over in life. My dad was still my dad though, no matter what.

I had kept myself seperate from him since the day I escaped that prison. I thought I was doing myself a favor just staying away from him, staying out of his life because I honestly knew that I wasn't a part of his life. He wanted the daughter that was born to him, he wanted the perfect girl that was normal. Well at least his definition of normal. He thought he could fix me, or cure me.

The big problem with thinking that way, is that if you think you can be cured, then you have to admit that there is something wrong with you. I am a firm believer in the thought that there is nothing wrong with me at all, I'm just a bit different.

When I went back to my dad it was just to make sure that he wasn't what everyone thought he was, that he wasn't dealing with people that he shouldn't be. I thought that maybe after everything he had put his past... he had put me behind him. He was still so set on that thought that he could fix me and make me his daughter again. I just knew that no matter how many chances I gave him, he was still going to end up thinking the same way. That I was the problem. That I was the one that was flawed.

Second chances are fine to hand out, but it just doesn't mean they're deserved, or that they'll actually be worth anything in the end.


shalimarfox: (Default)

October 2006

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